love

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up this whole armor for years so no one can hurt you then on stupid person wanders into your stupid life and you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats your insides and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets-inside-you and rips-you-apart kind of pain. I hate love!

All men lie but calling a man out for lying is like playing basketball with a retard and calling him out for double dribbling, you gotta let some shit slide.

what i want...and deserve

...a man who calls me "beautiful" instead of "hot." Who will call me when he says he will. A man who will lie under the stars and listen to my heartbeat while I listen to his. A man who will stay awake until I fall asleep, holding me the whole time. A man who rub my back and gives me a kiss when I'm feeling down. One who kisses my forehead and holds my hand in front of his friends. One who wants to show me off to the world when I'm in sweats and thinks I'm just as pretty without makeup on. I want a man who doesn't care how long it takes or how much it costs. One who is constantly showing me how much he cares, even if he doesn't always actually say it. I want a man who will turn to his friends, nod his head, and say "That's Her."

meredith grey is my idol

So this is a quote from Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy and I love her cause she is awesome! I just love it! And I especially love the last part. It is a perfect way to describe how I feel sometimes when I wake up in the morning.

"Okay, the man I love has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes my dog. Okay, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her. But I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him. But that does not change the fact that she's got MY McDreamy. And MY McDog. She has got my McLife. And what have I got?! Do you know I can't remember the last time we kissed? Because you never think the last time is the last time. You think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't. Plus, my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I just... I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today."

the best therapy ever

i just love these girls!!!

long time gone

sorry so long since the last post. it takes me a while because i am always so busy. i hung out with my quadruplets last night and it was so awesome. they are growing up so much and they are getting cuter and cuter every day. abby is just talking like crazy and she is so smart it just blows my mind. she is 2 and i haven't seen them in about 2 months and she remembered me and my NAME! i just can't explain how adorable they are and how much i love those little girls.

i will update about myself and my life at another time. but here are some pictures of my lovely ladies :)