you would if you could, if you had another mother

so im sitting in the room of a screaming patient- THE WORST screamer/complainer i have EVER seen. she is here with a UTI and ARF (acute renal failure). she has a history which includes bipolar disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, along with breast CA, COPD, anemia, hypothyroidism, osteomyelitis, GERD, S/P catheter, HoTN and HTN, and memory loss. she is a typical 60 yo train wreck of a woman.

some of the things she has said to me tonight include:
"i have rheuma'tory' arthritis in my legs- help me help me! take this pain away!" -grrr i cant!

"you would help me if you could, if you had another mother!" -what does my mom have to do with anything?

"mother, mother, can i be a pretty princess too?" -i take it she wants to look like me, haha!

not kidding, she just screams and screams and then curses at me and then screams some more. she hits the call button to get other people to rearrange her pillows (every 2 minutes!) because she doesn't like the way i do them. she constantly says i am hurting her even when i am 5 feet away from her and she says that i want to kill her (the thought has crossed my mind i admit but i would never say or do a thing like that- i am a nurse you know). i swear i see multiple personalities emerging as she goes from screaming and cursing at me to all of a sudden all sweet and cute like a child and asking for her teddy bear. i am definitely witnessing delusions and hallucinations from this woman.

here is my problem. she has an order for haldol q1 hour which is good dont get me wrong, but her pain meds are only q4 and she is getting ultram. i have not had any experience before tonight with ultram but at least on this woman it seems to wear off after about 20 minutes and she only gets it every 4 hours!! the other 3.5 hours are spent screaming and begging for more ultram because she is "dying" and"cant stand the pain." it is 5:00 in the morning and i am mad about getting pulled to this other unit anyway let alone have to sit with this horrible patient who by the way is in contact precautions for MRSA which i forgot to mention. i was given the option to go home at 11:00pm and use PTO for the last 8 hours of my shift but i thought i should stay and work- oh boy was i wrong!!!

i try to have patience with this woman, i really do. but seriously, there is only so much patience a person can have and i ran out of mine about 4 hours ago. i will admit that i dont have the largest store of patience in me but even someone with 10 times more patience than me would have run out long before now. i am getting a migraine from all the yelling and screaming. please god just make the next 2 hours go by fast and take my mind to a place of peace right now. im out.