you know you're a nurse if...

▸ when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows
▸ you find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines
▸ your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up
▸ everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have
▸ you want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors
▸ you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones
▸ you can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce
▸ you use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shotglass
▸ you've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest
▸ you believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine
▸ you would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night
▸ you believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious
▸ you can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
▸ almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually
▸ every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you
▸ you can intubate your friends at parties
▸ you don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own
▸ you live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
▸ you've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a toomey syringe
▸ you've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help
▸ when checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer
▸ you avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off